Facts and Noise: Lockout Edition

Much talk, little progress

This isn't breaking news or anything but I hate the lockout. I stopped blogging because I didn't want to write about it. My sister works for a fledgling school district in Langhorne, Pa., I worry about her. I'm far less concerned about the players bringing down their percentage of BRI (basketball-related income).

The lockout began on July 1, 201l. Since then, there's been a lot of noise coming from the players, owners, agents and talking heads. Although thanks to the baseball playoffs, hockey, college and pro football, no one really seems to notice/care. (Don't blame you). I told you my opinion and I'm sure yours falls within the confines of mine —  these rich bastards better stop arguing and get back to the game before they lose me or screw these rich bastards, I'm out.

Below are quick facts to get you caught up on the lockout and some links for opinions. If you want a more detailed history of the lockout (although why would you?) click here.

The facts:

• All games from Nov.1-Nov. 14 have been cancelled, costing players approximately $170 million in salaries, according to Chris Broussard of ESPN.
• The main sticking points since July: division of revenues and restructured salary cap system. 
• David Stern and Billy Hunter brought in Federal mediator, George Cohen (worked on NFL lockout) to mediate sessions.
• In the last 32 hours, the two sides have met for approximately 24 of them. Little progress was made in that time, though both sides are reportedly inching closer to an agreeable revenue split
• Owners upped their offer of a $3.4mil/yr mid-level exception (MLE) to $5 mil/yr. This is down from the former MLE, $5.8/yr in the CBA from 2005.
• Owners proposed a strong luxury tax, punishing teams for going over the salary cap. The players oppose this, saying the luxury tax would act as a de facto hard-salary cap, which of course the players refuse to accept.

The noise:

• Bill Simmons has turned to hockey
• John Wall isn't thrilled with David Stern
• Trust is still an issue, says Chad Ford
• Superstars may barnstorm/tour, according to sources
• No news is bad news for Henry Abbott
• Shaun Powell writes that Bryant Gumbel should have known better

Check back tomorrow for more facts/noise.

This is Sportscenter

I'm reading Those Guys Have All the Fun: Inside the World of ESPN by James Andrew Miller and Tom Shales. I'm currently in the middle of this massive 700+ page behemoth, reading about how the ad guys came up with the hilarious "This is Sportscenter" campaign. Pure genius. Below is my personal favorite. Charley Steiner just kills me. There are also links to other classics in no particular order. If you have a favorite that I missed, comment below and I'll post it. Enjoy!

"Follow me to freedom!"

Shue for Steiner

"Charley come on out and get your whoopin!"

Derek Jeter's razor feat the Phanatic

Grant Hill at the piano

Makeup Buddies

The Perfect Show

Van Pelt's PEDs

Shaz Bagl

Bill Simmons is All Blown Up

Every year in college I would boycott Bill Simmons for about three months. Just couldn't read him. Why? Pure unadulterated jealousy. Plain and simple.

He simply wouldn't die. I don't mean that in literal terms - more of a comedic sense. I was waiting for Bill to blow the punchline. Stumble. Miss a beat. Come back down to earth. Something. Never happened. His readership climbed. His books were bestsellers. He was killing.

The comedian Jim Norton on the radio show Opie and Anthony said, "comedians hate seeing other comedians do well." Same can be said for writers. When one of my friends gets published I get legitimately mad at them. Not to their face, but certainly to the side of their face.

I wanted to see him suffer a little. I hated how I was an English major toiling through Shakespeare and Irish Lit classes at Saint Joseph's University in West Philly while he sat on his ass and wrote 5,000 words on an NBA Finals preview using Anchorman quotes in LA. Apparently, I wasn't the only one.

Detractors routinely come out of the wordwork to bash Simmons for his clinging to the "everyman fan" persona as he sits courtside at Lakers games, behind home plate at Chavez Ravine or hangs out with his celebrity friends. Oh and the pop culture references. A lot of people aren't fans of the constant Karate Kid and Teen Wolf shoutouts in his columns or his sudden fascination with The Wire or international soccer. 

Stop doing well!

Are they wrong? Not really. Simmons has his faults. He's no Halberstam or Hunter S. Thompson, and I don't appreciate his use of footnotes a la David Foster Wallace, but to his credit he pretty much ditched the "I'm just a regular guy" gimmick in his columns. He had to. I don't know many people with 1.4 million Twitter followers or a podcast that gets downloaded nearly 700,000 times a pop. The truth is, he doesn't even write that much anymore, sticking to the popular podcast. He's pretentious, rarely admits when he's wrong and is quick to point out when he's right.

But why would I beat up a guy who A) wouldn't read what I'm writing anyway or B) care? I let the jealousy fade.

Until today.

Until I clicked on NYTimes.com and found myself glancing at their Sunday Magazine and seeing a magazine preview featuring the one and only Sports Guy.

Initial reaction: You gotta be fucking kidding me? A thumbnail photo of Simmons in a tie getting showered in Gatorade accompanies the article. I loathe it.

I fire up my blog and unload. I pepper the post with words like "sellout," "hack," and "David Foster Wallace ripoff." My diatribe continues for more than 1,500 words but pales in comparison to Charles S. Peirce's review of Simmons' The Book of Basketball.

But what purpose am I serving? Why am I so angry about a guy I regularly read actually succeeding? There are approximately eight writers in the world who make a decent living at this thing and seven of them write about vampires and/or wizards. When did I become so cynical, crossing my fingers that the people I read on a daily basis fail? Pretty soon I'll be the guy on Twitter who thinks he's making witty comments when all he has shown is his prowess at being a complete douche.

Stop projecting.

I deleted the post. I should be glad that the guy who made me think I can get into this game is doing well and breaking out into new endeavours. But I think it's time for another three month sabbatical. I deleted the post. Basically, I wrote what amounts to an angry letter during a hissy fit. Who's the hack now?

Hollinger Vs. 9450

John Hollinger recently posted his picks for the All-NBA 1st, 2nd and 3rd teams via Twitter. Last week, I posted my picks via Twitter (@9450blog). Let's see how they stack up.

Hollinger:

1st: Derrick Rose, Dwyane Wade, LeBron James, Kevin Durant, Dwight Howard.

2nd: Chris Paul, Kobe Bryant, Dirk Nowitzki, Pau Gasol, LaMarcus Aldridge.

3rd: Russell Westbrook, Manu Ginobli, Paul Pierce, Kevin Love, Amare Stoudemire

Major Omissions: Chris Bosh

9450:

1st: Derrick Rose, Kobe Bryant, LeBron James, Kevin Durant, Dwight Howard

2nd: Dwyane Wade, Russell.Westbrook, Pau Gasol, Dirk Nowitzki, LaMarcus Aldridge

3rd: Tony Parker, Rajon Rondo, Carmelo Anthony, Amare Stoudemire, Chris Bosh

Major Omissions: CP3